Declutter like a Mother F****r
A foul-mouthed, brutally practical guide to sorting your sh*t out before someone calls a documentary crew or the Council
Get the free guide
Book readers get 1-month free storage with us
Rated 5.0 on Google by Tamworth humans who finally found the floor again.
No vision boards. No “just buy more baskets.” Just a step-by-step plan to clear the chaos and know when it’s time to shove stuff into storage.
We’ll email you the PDF and a few short follow-up tips. No spam, no inspirational quotes.
Whats inside this little book of chaos control?
- Blunt decision rules for what to bin, donate, sell or store so you stop moving the same crap from room to room.
- 20-minute "Brown Box Blitzes" you can do between real-life (kids, work, Netflix).
- Exactly what to put into a unit first so you buy yourself space and sanity, not just another bill.
You’ll finish it knowing what stays, what goes, and what needs locking up in a Brown Box unit for a bit.
Who is this for?
This is for you if....
The Toyland Parent
Your living room looks like a plastic war zone. You own more Lego than sense.
The "I'll sell it one day" hoarder
That ‘to sell on Marketplace’ pile has celebrated a birthday.
The Paperwork Drowner
Drawers, bags and boxes full of ‘important documents’ you’re too scared to chuck.
The Sentimental Keeper
You don’t want to live in a museum of your past, but you also don’t want to bin the memories.
If you’ve ever thought ” I can’t live like this” and then just shut the door on the room, this is for you.
Written by people who spend all day dealing with other people's stuff
Brown Box Self Storage in Tamworth spends its days helping normal, overwhelmed humans wrestle back their space. We see the house moves, the break-ups, the blended families, the business stock explosions and the “we didn’t mean to become accidental hoarders” stories.
This guide is everything we wish people knew before they hit breaking point.
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Frequently Asked Questions
Q1: Is it really free or are you going to stalk me?
A: The guide is free. We’ll send a few follow-up emails with extra tips and the occasional offer. You can unsubscribe faster than you can lose your keys again.
Q2: Is this just an advert for storage?
A: No. The whole point is to help you get ruthless with what you own. Sometimes the answer is a storage unit. Sometimes the answer is a bin bag. We’ll tell you the difference.
Q3: I’m properly embarrassed about my house. Is this for “normal messy” or full disaster?
A: Both. If you’re just a bit overwhelmed, it’ll stop it getting worse. If you’re already in deep, it will give you a starting line that isn’t “burn it all and move.”
Q3: Do I need to live near Tamworth?
A: For the tips, no. For the storage, yes. If you’re local and decide to use us, we’ll make the whole thing as painless as possible.
Q3: Do I get anything if I end up storing with you?
A: Book readers get 1 month free storage with us.